Dear Friends

Still half dressed, I've run over to grab my laptop to write this post....
 I just finished trying on my summer clothes (I know this cold, wet weather will soon change) and the most amazing thing has happened! Nothing, except my cute sail boat pj's fits. Some I couldn't even get past my lower thighs, let alone done up. While that's not the amazing part, the best part was my internal reaction. I though oh, OK. Well, I guess I'm going shopping! How fun is that! 

Typically this sort of situation would kick start me into a familiar pattern of self loathing and an instant diet plan, or regime as I typically call it, scale hoping, mirror staring and exercise boost, or at least the promise of!  But instead I observed myself thinking: we'll isn't this interesting, I didn't notice this much change over the winter and its OK, I LOVE MY BODY! I actually said this!!! Friends, I am healthy, strong and feel beautiful. I walk my my new dog everyday and I feel great! For the first time ever I don't care what the size label says.  Ahhhh, what a relief. This is true spiritual progress. This is friendship and love. 

I see too many children and adults suffering with who they are, trying to be thinner, or look like someone different. It has got to stop. Yes of course be healthy, move your body because it feels good, eat, eat well and enjoy your food. Pay attention to how you feel and what you think.

Two years ago I was in that mode of exercising daily, sometimes twice daily, restricting my food intake and choices. Planning it all out and sticking to it. I was gluten free, sugar free, processed food free etc. But really, I can see now that I was anything but free. As a nutritionist I felt a great sense of success in knowing what do do and seeing it work. I had lost 25 pounds or more. Even though I was a size 4 and could wear anything, it wasn't until a debilitating case of sciatica came and hung around for a whole year that I realized I wasn't actually happy or emotionally healthy.  Almost overnight I went from extremely active to totally sedentary. I would make the kids lunches, get them to school and come home, cry and lay on my back under heat and ice every day for almost a year. I slowly stopped dieting too. I was on a path to feel better though. I found ways to be happy anyway. I went gratefully to my amazing chiropractor Dr. D Warner at foster family chiropractic, some times 3 times a week and every other week to my osteopath Ryan Richardson. Slowly and then finally one day I woke up and this pain was gone. I was just so happy and grateful that I felt good, that life feels good again that I now can see I wasn't balanced, or loving toward myself at all. This was the gift or silver lining to my sciatica situation.

I am a lover of food, I enjoy and feel better when I eat healthy wholesome foods and I will always continue to do that. But instead of cringe and fear the clothing experience I just had, I celebrate this journey of self love that I am on. If I don't love my body now and the size I am , I can loose all the weight in the world (its not that hard to do) and I still won't love my body. So here and now, and I hope you're joining me in saying I LOVE MYSELF and my beautiful, strong and healthy body!!

That's it

with love,
Lora